우리 가족의 가치| The One with The Lawals - On Raising Nigerian-American Kids: Episode 28 (2018)

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The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with The Lawals

In talking with some of my friends, especially those who just became new parents, I found that a lot of them struggle with the feeling of insecurity around parenthood and fear of not doing enough as a parent. It humbles me when I hear these conversations because I think most of them are really good parents. In a bid to build community for these issues, I invited The Lawals on the show. Thus, this episode is dedicated to those friends and others like them. I hope you connect to this and that much more, you realize how amazing you already are.

This episode features a candid conversation with Nigerian parents who are raising Nigerian-American kids. You will hear about their insecurities, fears, and rewards regarding parenting. On how certain adaptations and tag teaming are necessary when raising kids in a different society than the one you grew up in. Also, on cultural differences and why some Nigerian parents do not allow their kids to go on sleepovers or playdates.

PS: This episode was shot in their house on a lazy Saturday morning. I have come to a soft conclusion that third-culture kids, raised by Nigerian parents, have a lot of shared experiences, especially of being grounded similarly, regardless of where they grow up in the world. Gotta give it to Naija parents for the homogeneity.

Fun facts about The Lawals:

They have twin girls! I am crazy about twins; so much so I married one (not only for this reason, haha).
Mrs. Lawal is still a patriotic Nigerian; you need to see the glimmer in her eyes every time she talks about Nigeria.
They met online way back when we used dial-up technology to surf the internet. #truelove
They play good cop, bad cop with the kids; listen to find out who plays what.

Takeaway Points:

Be mindful as parents. Always turn back to say: “Hi, I love you, I will see you later.”
Tell your kids what to do but make sure you show them why, when needed. Especially as they grow up and become more assertive.
Parenting is a continuous improvement process. Parents learn through their kids as much as their kids learn from them.
Be a lazy parent – let your kids figure some things out, engage their curiosity to help their brain grow.

Notable Quotes:

“It is crazy that the one place that you seemingly cannot truly feel that your kids are completely safe is inside American schools. You are not truly sure of whom you are handing them over to or with whom they are interacting.”

You cannot raise your kids in a bubble. From Monday to Friday, they spend more awake hours outside of the home, and you have no control over these external environment. This is why we communicate the whys and hows with our kids and lead them by example.”

These struggles, we have as parents, will never go away. What we need to fight this is the constancy of the parents, and hopefully, some of our teachings will stick. Not all will stick because they will form some of their own thoughts based on the environmental influences.”